PERSONAL NARRATIVE/COLLEGE ESSAY SAMPLES NAME:_____ PROFESSIONAL EXAMPLE #1 Dishing Dirt By Emily White The day I hear the rumor I am 14 years old, enclosed in a bathroom stall. Its walls are light blue, exactly the color of mold. Through a crack in its door, I can see three girls enter: heavy metal girls Dec 17, · Successful College Personal Statement Examples. To start, Wordvice is including a couple of successful personal statement essay examples, including comments and feedback provided by our editors to the students. Both of these essays were edited by Wordvice editors, with both students gaining admission! Essay #1: The “Holistic Profile” Essay Other Sample College Essays. Here is a collection of essays that are college-specific. Babson College. 3 essays (and 1 video response) on "Why Babson" from the class of Emory University. 5 essay examples (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) along with analysis from Emory admissions staff on why the essays were exceptional Harvard. 10 Harvard essays from MIT
10 Personal Statement Essay Examples That Worked | CollegeVine
Your essay can be the difference between an acceptance and rejection — it allows you to stand out from the rest of applicants with similar profiles. Your personal statement is any essay that you must write for your main application, such as the Common App EssayUniversity of California Essaysor Coalition Application Essay. This type of essay focuses on your unique personal college essay sample, ideas, or beliefs that may not be discussed throughout the rest of your application.
This essay should be an opportunity for the admissions officers to get to know you better and give them a glimpse into who you really are, personal college essay sample.
These personal statement essay examples were all written personal college essay sample real students. For each example, we provide a first draft, what the writer can improve, and the revised version. View the complete list of personal statement examples towards the bottom of the post. Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.
When I was very young my parents pressured me to succeed academically, play sports, make hobbies, etc. like many parents do. For a large personal college essay sample of my younger years I was missing the independence and sense of self I would develop later in life, because I was always under pressure to succeed in the form of success my parents had defined. As a child I was set up to follow my parents idea of the path to success.
However, when I was ten years old, this path was interrupted. My parents divorced when I was about three years old, and when I was ten years old my dad moved away from my home in Illinois. Most people who hear this think It was hard for me, or sad… but in reality I see it as a blessing.
To say it was without consequences and hardship would be false, but ultimately the place my family is in now has ultimately benefited from this physical separation. Once personal college essay sample dad moved away I was no longer pressured by him. The influence my parents had on me while they were raising me together imbedded a drive in me that I will always be thankful for.
However, their separation allowed me to grow independent and develop the relationship I currently have with myself. As I grew up in a single parent household, my mom had less time and ability to parent me as strictly and closely as she had once done when my father was living in Illinois as well. This odd form of freedom forced me to become independent. As soon as middle school I was riding the light rail train by myself, reading maps to get myself home, applying to special school programs with no pressure to do so.
I rapidly developed a sense of independence. My father of course had a limited understanding of my lifestyle and who I was becoming, and my mom only wished she could be more attentive, personal college essay sample.
Because of this my parents both had a limited understanding of how independent and self motivated I had become, personal college essay sample. The event that brought my independence and self motivation, and the idea that I had reached adulthood to light, was my exchange trip to Morocco in the summer of I kept looking, personal college essay sample, and eventually found the SNYI-L program, personal college essay sample, a program with a full paying scholarship opportunity.
The application in itself was a huge process, one I had to do on my own. Applying for a passport, organizing how my parents would both sign for my passport while living in separate states, keeping track of countless forms, finding my immunization records, personal college essay sample, etc.
were all small acts of independence that went unnoticed until I was notified of my position as a semi-finalist. At this point my parents finally somewhat recognized how self motivated and independent I had become. Being accepted as a finalist was icing on the cake. The idea that I could live in a foreign country, with a family I had never met, for two months, and the effort that it took for me to reach that point, drove home the idea that I was independent, I truly was an adult.
The author has drafted a thoughtful coming-of-age story by exploring their relationship with their parents and how it influenced their own ability to independently make decisions about their interests and goals. As they imply in their essay, self-determination is a process which all children must undergo at some point—they must find who they are, what they like and believe, and what they hope to accomplish free from the influence of the pillars in their life who have largely determined that for them up until the point of realization.
Did personal college essay sample feel that they could only truly accept themselves as independent once their parents accepted it? They should also spend more time reflecting on their own realization about their adulthood and how they came to take the reigns of their own future. What did this feel like? Was there a particular moment when they realized that the work would no longer personal college essay sample done for them?
How did they grapple with this sudden burden of responsibility? The essay needs to focus on their own realization here, and less so on the process of proving their maturity to their parents. Secondly, the author should take a step back and think about what true independence and adulthood means to them. Though the essay focuses on this coming-of-age period in their life, they never talk specifically about what this peak achievement would mean for them personally.
Was it that they could get on a plane and go to Morocco and be alright without their parents, or was it that they had the ability to decide that they were interested in an immersive experience and that they took the necessary steps to achieve this interest?
Adulthood and independence mean different things to different people and look a little bit different to each of us depending on our different situations. Lastly, the essay could benefit from a deeper exploration of their relationship with their parents. The author talks in very broad terms about how they were raised and how their separation led to growth.
Early in the essay, they mention a battle between their wishes and those of their parents. What did these conversations, either internal or external, look like? They should show this in their writing, rather than telling it. Remember that the success of the essay depends on the ability to deeply personalize it and explore the relevant emotions and reflections associated with each step in the journey to adulthood. While their journey to adulthood may include their parents, this essay should center around the author and their own recognition of their personal milestones and accomplishments.
The twisting roads, ornate mosaics, and fragrant scent of freshly ground spices had been so foreign at first. Now in my fifth week of the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco, I felt more comfortable in the city.
It was hard to believe that only a few years earlier my mom was worried about letting me travel around my home city on my own, personal college essay sample, let alone a place that I had only lived in for a few weeks.
While I had been on a journey towards self-sufficiency and independence for a few years now, it was Morocco that pushed me to become the confident, self-reflective person that I am today, personal college essay sample.
As a child, my parents pressured me to achieve perfect grades, master my swim strokes, and discover interesting hobbies like playing the oboe and learning to pick locks.
I felt compelled to live my life according to their wishes. Of course, this pressure was not a wholly negative factor in my life —— you might even call it support. Despite all these achievements, I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success.
I had always been expected to succeed on the path they had defined. As early as middle school, I was riding the light rail train by myself, reading maps to get myself home, and applying to special academic programs without urging from my parents.
Even as I took more initiatives on my own, my parents both continued to see me as somewhat immature. All of that changed three years ago, when I applied and was accepted to the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco. I would be studying Arabic and learning my way around the city of Marrakesh. Although I think my parents were a little surprised when I told them my news, the addition of a fully-funded scholarship convinced them to let me go. I lived with a host family in Marrakesh and learned that they, too, had high expectations for me.
If I messed up, personal college essay sample, they patiently corrected me but refused to let me fall into the easy pattern of speaking English just as I did at home. Just as I had when I was younger, I felt pressured and stressed about meeting their expectations, personal college essay sample. However, personal college essay sample day, as I strolled through the bustling market square after successfully bargaining with one of the street vendors, I realized my mistake.
I had applied for this trip, and I had committed to the intensive language study. Similarly, the pressure my parents had put on me as a child had come out of love and their hopes for me, not out of a desire to crush my individuality. As my bus drove through the still-bustling market square and past the medieval Ben-Youssef madrasa, I realized that becoming independent was a process, not an event. Now, personal college essay sample, although I am even more self-sufficient than I was three years ago, I try to approach every experience with the expectation that it will change me.
View more personal statement essay examples by signing up for a free CollegeVine account. Why is this? Most students applying to top schools will have stellar academics and extracurriculars. Your essays are your chance to stand out and humanize your application. Before submitting your application, you should have someone else review your essays.
We highly recommend giving this tool a try! Essay Guides for Each School. How to Write a Stellar Extracurricular Activity College Essay. Does your Common App essay actually stand personal college essay sample Submit or Review an Essay — for free! Personal Statement Prompt Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.
Personal Statement Essay Example, First Draft. Is Your Personal Statement Strong Enough?
AWESOME Personal Statement Samples (COLLEGE ESSAYS THAT WORKED AND WHY)
, time: 5:29Successful College Personal Statement Examples | Wordvice
Dec 17, · Successful College Personal Statement Examples. To start, Wordvice is including a couple of successful personal statement essay examples, including comments and feedback provided by our editors to the students. Both of these essays were edited by Wordvice editors, with both students gaining admission! Essay #1: The “Holistic Profile” Essay Nov 03, · A personal statement essay or a college admissions essay is the part of your college application that allows the admissions committee to get a stronger sense of who you are as a candidate. As our sample above shows, it is usually written in response to a prompt provided by the school; it is important to pay attention to and answer the prompt, as it demonstrates Estimated Reading Time: 8 mins PERSONAL NARRATIVE/COLLEGE ESSAY SAMPLES NAME:_____ PROFESSIONAL EXAMPLE #1 Dishing Dirt By Emily White The day I hear the rumor I am 14 years old, enclosed in a bathroom stall. Its walls are light blue, exactly the color of mold. Through a crack in its door, I can see three girls enter: heavy metal girls
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